


That Shit Is Pretty Gay, Dude

by alyblack



Category: Black Mirror (TV)
Genre: Adultery, Alternate Universe - Future, Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Body Dysphoria, But Sassy, Drugs Made Them Do It, Few Years After Episode, Friends With Benefits, Gay For You, Gay Male Character, Heterosexual Sex, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Internalized Homophobia, Karl Is So Done, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, Public Sex, Re-negotiation of Boundaries, Slow Burn, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Violence, Virtual Reality, Yes homo, coming to terms, fucking while high, gay shit, implied trans character, unfortunately
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 05:25:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19192681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyblack/pseuds/alyblack
Summary: It was printed on the way he was carrying himself, made obvious as he altered from one foot to the other, unsure of himself, not saying anything until Karl said it first. He could tell, then, what was already crystal clear before: Danny did not want it to be true. He might be ready one day, but this moment, standing in the rain, while things were so raw and urgent, was certainly not when. It was easy to lie, because Karl had a shit-ton of practice under his belt. The words came falling out before he could second guess himself and relief swept across his friend’s face. “Me neither”. Right.





	That Shit Is Pretty Gay, Dude

**Author's Note:**

> We all know what's really going

It wasn’t sparks or whatever. The ground under his feet wasn’t shaking by the time they pulled apart. His world view was intact, and it was, mainly, because he already knew. Life wasn’t giving him a chance of finding out something original about himself, he had known it for months, years. Kissing was kissing and as far as it went, this one was not particularly good either, but none of that mattered. Karl hoped Danny couldn’t feel the slight hesitation cursing through his fingertips as he touched him on the side of the neck, feeling the pulse quicken under his touch. By the time they locked eyes again, the truth had been there, stamped across Danny’s forehead. It was printed on the way he was carrying himself, made obvious as he altered from one foot to the other, unsure of himself, not saying anything until Karl said it first. He could tell, then, what was already crystal clear before: Danny did not want it to be true. He might be ready one day, but this moment, standing in the rain, while things were so raw and urgent, was certainly not when. It was easy to lie, because Karl had a shit-ton of practice under his belt. The words came falling out before he could second guess himself and relief swept across his friend’s face. “Me neither”. Right.

There was a very specific kind of thrill in standing on a rooftop, feeling foreign inside his own mind, but, at the same time, strangely accustomed to wearing a female body to do whatever it was they did in there. Karl had a calendar on his wall exclusively dedicated to waiting for this day to come, he had gotten himself a pet and he was coping. Hoping for the best might be the better way to describe his state of spirit. It had been a surprise how easy they had returned to barely speaking during the other 364 days of the year, but, now, the weight his birthday carried was slightly heavier to carry. There was no beating around the bush about it, at least not for Karl: this thing they had going on was the lamest, most unfair, most excruciatingly unsatisfactory affair anyone had ever had in the history of ever. But, complaining wouldn’t lead anyone anywhere.

Still, it wasn’t a big deal. Not really. So, Karl was in love with his best friend, using a body that didn’t belong to him, negating his own gender, orientation and feelings to get virtual sex with a married dude once every year, so fucking what? There was plenty of sex to be had every other day. He was chill. Okay, it messed with his head occasionally. Sometimes, it was hard to separate Danny from Lance, specially when he was with somebody else. Well, when he said it was the best experience he had ever had, it wasn’t bullshit. However, when it got down to the fantasy itself, he never knew if he got all hot under the collar because he was thinking about the things Lance made him feel while he was Roxy, or if it was the things he made Danny feel.

When they were together, though, that was his last worry. Over the years they had tried a lot of shit. Fucked each other six ways to Sunday.  It was always good and when he didn’t have it, there was an itch under his skin no amount of messing around could scratch, but it wasn’t always enough. No, sometimes Karl wanted more. Greedy little bitch, as he was, he wanted everything. Fucking as Roxy had been transcendental once before, when it was new and exciting and the first time he realized this part of him could be satisfied without it meaning any major compromise about his reality. Things were different these days.

More than anything, the biggest fantasy occupying his mind was having a pair of soft lips wrapped around his dick, but Danny was only interested in fucking him when he was Roxy and Roxy, as it turns out, didn’t come with a cock optional.  Too bad. Guess it was another thing he had to get over. Which in no way meant to say he hadn’t had his fair share of practice in that department. He could suck Lance off while twisted into pretzel shape. Danny was simply not ready, he kept saying to himself whenever he thought about it, allowed himself to imagine how it would feel, right before he could open his mouth to suggest, test the field and pray for the best. But no, not yet. If he wasn’t ready to suck dick, Karl figured he wasn’t ready to stick his in a male character either. No prostate play, then. He could live without that.

Strictly pussy fucking. Creative positions, for sure, but overall vanilla once you could look passed the absolute filthiness of the situation itself. Whatever.  


End file.
